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My Father's Funeral

On March 29, shortly after midnight, I received a phone call (actually it was from Facebook Messenger) that changed my life forever.  Bishop Yeh of the Tainan 3rd Ward called to inform me that my father was involved in a car accident while riding his bicycle to a church activity.  My father immediately lapsed into a coma and his situation was getting worse. He did not have much time. His respiratory system, kidneys, and liver we’re all going downhill and did not function. So I flew to Taiwan immediately the next morning, not knowing beforehand what would happen.  I felt like I was spelunking into complete darkness.  However, in very dark times of our lives, God prepares His light with his selected angels to guide us through tough times.  Thus, my exciting adventure begins.

After enduring the 12 hour flight to Taiwan and landing in Taoyuan on Friday evening, I felt relieved to have entered what I thought would have been the longest and most boring part of the trip. Little did I know that the most intense part of my trip had just begun. I hurried to get through customs with my US passport, expecting no problems. After the customs official almost was ready to stamp my passport, another official came and took me to a very small side room. I was taken into custody because of a lawsuit my father had levied against me and my two brothers.  They took me to the Kaohsiung Courthouse to report to the judge before I could be released.  But since the courthouse was not opened at 7pm at night, I was required to stay at the Airport Detention Center overnight, handcuffs and jail cell and all.

I was still somewhat fearful of uncertainty. Would I be detained for a long time? What are you able to taste freedom again? Will I be able to see my beloved wife and children again? What I be able to return to America? During all this experience, I have learned to trust God even more. I’ve learned to trust in his timing, which is not always the same as my immediate request. I have learned to trust in his love and companionship. I know that he was with me through this whole trial.

After 16 hours of being detained, I reported to the courthouse and was released.  I felt the freedom of being able to move and to go and to say what you want. Now I understand a little more what basic freedoms mean, and now I appreciate the little freedoms a lot more.

On Saturday I was able to travel to Tainan to see my father in the hospital for the first time, lying motionless, except for the periodic movement of his cheek and head due to the breathing of oxygen.  The nurse and doctor explained to me his situation.  His situation had not changed from when Bishop Yeh contacted me in America.

This is my prayer at 5 AM in Taiwan on Sunday, April 1. Father has done some amazing things in his life, despite his many weaknesses and offenses against others and his family and neighbors. He has brought his family to the promised land in America. He has accepted the gospel of Jesus Christ and extended the blessing to this family. He has taught me and others many things.  If his mission is complete now (I do not know what God has in store for him), I do pray the Lord would take him unto himself in his bosom and relieve him from mortal suffering and pains he will have to face.  On the other hand, if God is willing to heal him to a state where he can breathe by himself, where his kidneys can function support, and where he can communicate easily with others, then I pray that God will heal him and he’ll him a little more time to accomplish his mission and influence others positively and repent of his sins and forgive others.

On Sunday, I attended church in the morning.  Then I went to the hospital to meet Lisa, my father's last wife before he passed away. I also had the opportunity to meet my little sister, Alfreda and her husband Blake and her husband‘s daughter Reese for the first time.  We visited Father in his hospital room.  Alfreda and Blake asked their questions, and a doctor answered them. Father’s situation is the same as yesterday except worse. Now his pH level is even more acidic than before, so his body will not be able to take too much more acid buildup.

With my father's situation spiraling downhill, I consulted with my two brothers and with Alfreda and her brother, Moroni.  On Sunday evening, the five of us children have unanimously decided to remove life support father at the hospital. It has been the most difficult decision of my life thus far. But I know it’s the right thing to do. We have done all that we can, and hospital doctors have done all they could this past week.

On Monday, I returned to the hospital with Alfreda at about noon. When we arrived upstairs in the intensive care unit, we declined the CPR procedure on Father.  We also requested that the medication and oxygen be stopped. They asked me questions and explained that the process for pulling the plug on the life-support would involve a few steps. If Father were still alive by tomorrow noon, then they would convene a meeting with the doctors on what to do next. If he passes away, we would return to the hospital to remove this body to the mortuary. So we chose to end life-support.

While on a bus an hour later, I received a phone call informing me that Father had pass away.  The exact time was 1:38pm on that Monday.  I immediately got off the bus and returned back to the hospital. As I walked, it all started to dawn on me.  Father was dead.  I felt a great feeling of sadness that weighed down upon me.  I cried for a few minutes, and continued walking towards the hospital.

Alfreda and her husband, Blake, returned back to the hospital with me.  We took care of the hospital business.  Afterwards, the nice folks at the Sheng En Mortuary helped us to take care of other business that afternoon. On Tuesday, I met with the property inheritance expert, Mrs. Guo, along with Bishop Yeh.  We discussed the necessary things I had to do before I left for America in order to proceed smoothly with a resolution of father’s house and financial assets. Due to time constraints, Mrs. Guo drove us to the mortuary to meet the coroner to arrange the funeral and to the Jiading Police station to change Father's residency status to deceased.

With Bishop Yeh's help and organization, the funeral for my father was held on Wednesday morning at a chapel in Tainan. At the front door, I met a gentleman and the lady who asked questions about the funeral service in the building. So I knew that they were not members of the church. Then they started talking about me. I spoke up and said I am Tsai Kohweng. The older man identified himself as my uncle, the second oldest child in their family. The younger lady was the wife of my other uncle, the fourth child. So my fourth uncle was also there. I met my cousin Guo Yin Lai, son of my oldest aunt. Also appearing were two female cousins who happened to be twins and children of our oldest uncle. Instantly I felt an awesome connection with the relatives I never knew.  At the funeral, Bishop Yeh spoke, and I spoke.  My brother, Moroni, flew in from Italy to attend the funeral and to speak.

Afterwards, I met Mr. Liu in Bishop Yeh’s office. He was the person who hit my father on a bicycle when he was in hurry to work. The young man in his early 20s apologized again to me.  I told him that as a Christian, I was willing to forgive him.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Then I left for photos.  I understood later that Bishop Yeh taught him the first discussion and invited Mr. Liu to take more missionary discussions.

After the funeral, we took a lot of group photos with the extended family and ate lunch with them. Then we rode the half hour trip to our ancestral home of Iansui to select the niche for my father's remains after the cremation. I would miss the cremation on Friday, because my flight back to the US was on Thursday.

This ended my spectacular 1st adventure to Taiwan this year.  This week was a sensational adventure, where I was able to see Father one last time, resolve a few of the important things, and reconnect with my relatives I have not seen in a long time. However, I also realized that this trip has taught me many important intimate lessons.  In the most foreign jail cell, I learned to fear not and to trust completely in my Savior Jesus Christ. Sitting in front of the man who was responsible for the death of Father, I learned to look him straight in the eyes and forgive him completely. I felt the truth and reality of the resurrection for each of us. I felt the warmth and joy of an eternal family. And most important of all, I was so happy to be home.




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